Tuesday, September 2, 2008

breakups hurt

breakups are difficult. it doesn't really matter who breaks up with who or if it's mutual, both people suffer. every horrible feeling imaginable is felt while suffering through a breakup.

i'm very scared right now. i'm constantly wondering if the decision i made was out of stupidity or sense. i just don't want to be alone. but i also want to be happy. and the reality is, for the past couple of months, i wasn't happy. i was doubting everything like crazy. he wasn't giving me what i hope "the man in life" can/will give me: comfort and support (i'm not talking anything having to do with finances). at times, i felt like i was the more masculine one and for a girly girl like me, that just doesn't work. but i knew he loved me...that is such a wonderful feeling. before him, i never had that much assurance in a man's love for me. yet, i still didn't feel fully comfortable and protected around him. it was eating me alive and i finally had to tell him i couldn't do it any longer. and now i feel horrible. like i've lost. i'm alone and my thoughts and doubts circulate throughout my entire body endlessly.

i hate this.

1 comment:

Sara Christine said...

UGH. Breakups are the WORST. Even if you know you made the right decision, it still just sucks. Hope you feel better soon. xo

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